Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
