Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
