it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize