why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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