they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone signed my nipple.
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