I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
