No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
