So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
