I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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