I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
