Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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