I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
