so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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