Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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