You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
