you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
