I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
