I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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