i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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