i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
