I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so let's talk penis.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
