The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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