Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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