Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
