i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
