ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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