I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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