I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
