Can Purell be used as lube?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
