SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
