I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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