Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
