just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize