I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
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