I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
