Don't you send me to vm
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
