He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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