He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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