i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
