Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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