the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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