we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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