I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's blow job season.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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