Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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