i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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