please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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