Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
