so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
