'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
