similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
