My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
