Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
