question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
