im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
