the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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