Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
