I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
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I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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