I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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