She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
