Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just forgot I was standing up.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
