Where are you?
In a non slutty way
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
