i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
