i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So many bounce houses so little time
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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