In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
