Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
