she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize