he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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