I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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