We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
