I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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