He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
