Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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