Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
