i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
