I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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